Erasmus' Guide To Stuff in 4 Volumes.
Volume 4.2 – A Science Lesson Involving Widdleflips
(This is not funny really, just mildly interesting, and probably all shite)
As has been told before a Widdleflip is a creature that lives in the forth dimension. How can it be then that we do not touch, see or hear them? And how do they project themselves into the third dimension?
The first question is answered quite simply with they do not operate in the quantum vacuum that we do. Momentum and inertia are not innate properties in matter but are inflicted upon us by the quantum vacuum. Without these we can just brush them aside, as we can act upon them but they cannot act upon us.
They can “shadow” themselves into the third dimension by turning sideways on to reality. To explain, a one dimensional structure (a line) can seem to be a zero dimensional structure (a point, dot) when viewed from its end. Similarly a three dimensional structure (cube) can appear to be a two dimensional structure (a square) when viewed from straight on. Likewise a four dimensional shape (a tesseract, hypercube) viewed from the right angle would appears as a three dimensional structure (cube). So they project the “shadow” of their four dimensional body as a three dimensional body into our dimension
btw, all scientific stuff here is kind of true.
I just applied it to a different situation, possibly one in which it would no longer be true.
So, uh, pinch of salt and all that
(This is not funny really, just mildly interesting, and probably all shite)
As has been told before a Widdleflip is a creature that lives in the forth dimension. How can it be then that we do not touch, see or hear them? And how do they project themselves into the third dimension?
The first question is answered quite simply with they do not operate in the quantum vacuum that we do. Momentum and inertia are not innate properties in matter but are inflicted upon us by the quantum vacuum. Without these we can just brush them aside, as we can act upon them but they cannot act upon us.
They can “shadow” themselves into the third dimension by turning sideways on to reality. To explain, a one dimensional structure (a line) can seem to be a zero dimensional structure (a point, dot) when viewed from its end. Similarly a three dimensional structure (cube) can appear to be a two dimensional structure (a square) when viewed from straight on. Likewise a four dimensional shape (a tesseract, hypercube) viewed from the right angle would appears as a three dimensional structure (cube). So they project the “shadow” of their four dimensional body as a three dimensional body into our dimension
btw, all scientific stuff here is kind of true.
I just applied it to a different situation, possibly one in which it would no longer be true.
So, uh, pinch of salt and all that
Glossary
Humans - Us. We exist as a betting system for the Sploogles
Sploogles - An industrious, multi-limbed race. Very small, and lots of them
claranticles - 8 inches tall. Militant, moral and very stupid. Only five remain alive
Prapples - Immense, resembelling giant tooth-brushes. Eat planets, thus pansy off the planet bound races
Wormholes - Immense creatures that can control gravity. Excrete wormhole juice which is poisenous to animals and good for plants. They love their plants more than themselves and hate the evil pinstriplet, their version of the devil
pinstriplet - Possibly mythical creature. Not very nice.
widdleflips - Resemble monkeys. Live in the fourth spatial dimension and project their image into the third dimension occasionally. Sometimes hired as assassins by the Sploogles to rig the Earth game
Fezslugs - Eat wormholes. Ruled by the mysterious Fezwald (hehe). Use speed to dodge the wormhole's deadly graviational attack.
NinKl’flips - moronic and now extinct creatures that used to go around hugging and loving all the other life-forms.
Grucklroots - Irritating and annoying race that feeds off brainwaves given off by annoyed life-forms
Yurcks - Very stupid, with heads the size of large planets. One of the few races that can travel faster than light, by oing calculations that collapse the quantum universe to another position. Very, very stupid
Shlrops - Live upon the heads of Yurcks. Fibrous and long, like very thinck hair
Quiffs - long thin creature that orbits planets, grows until it is a ring totally circling the planet then lives by feeding off its own tail. Scientists are at a loss to explain how they survive doing this.
Flintles - very basic race living upon the heads of Yurcks
Clickentillies - Bred in mints. Used as currency. Massively suicidal
Polinks - find out in Volume 5 (if there ever is one)
Bartaggables - run the mints that create the Clickentillies. Money-grabbing and vicious. More info in Vol 5, perhaps
Humans - Us. We exist as a betting system for the Sploogles
Sploogles - An industrious, multi-limbed race. Very small, and lots of them
claranticles - 8 inches tall. Militant, moral and very stupid. Only five remain alive
Prapples - Immense, resembelling giant tooth-brushes. Eat planets, thus pansy off the planet bound races
Wormholes - Immense creatures that can control gravity. Excrete wormhole juice which is poisenous to animals and good for plants. They love their plants more than themselves and hate the evil pinstriplet, their version of the devil
pinstriplet - Possibly mythical creature. Not very nice.
widdleflips - Resemble monkeys. Live in the fourth spatial dimension and project their image into the third dimension occasionally. Sometimes hired as assassins by the Sploogles to rig the Earth game
Fezslugs - Eat wormholes. Ruled by the mysterious Fezwald (hehe). Use speed to dodge the wormhole's deadly graviational attack.
NinKl’flips - moronic and now extinct creatures that used to go around hugging and loving all the other life-forms.
Grucklroots - Irritating and annoying race that feeds off brainwaves given off by annoyed life-forms
Yurcks - Very stupid, with heads the size of large planets. One of the few races that can travel faster than light, by oing calculations that collapse the quantum universe to another position. Very, very stupid
Shlrops - Live upon the heads of Yurcks. Fibrous and long, like very thinck hair
Quiffs - long thin creature that orbits planets, grows until it is a ring totally circling the planet then lives by feeding off its own tail. Scientists are at a loss to explain how they survive doing this.
Flintles - very basic race living upon the heads of Yurcks
Clickentillies - Bred in mints. Used as currency. Massively suicidal
Polinks - find out in Volume 5 (if there ever is one)
Bartaggables - run the mints that create the Clickentillies. Money-grabbing and vicious. More info in Vol 5, perhaps
Filling the gap till Volume 5, heeeeeeere's:
Volume 4.3 – Intergalactic idiocy
Throughout the universe there is one constant. Through the multitude of cultures there is one element that eternally appears: stupidity.
Every race has had its fair share, some more than. One such is the Kl race which was hunted to death because it managed to convince itself that the best defence was a good offence. This led to a single Kl* attempting to face down a whole pack of up to 25 Glack**. The Kl only lasted three weeks after adopting this new tactic.
Other forms of more advanced idiocy exist throughout the galaxy. The Moovok race for instance considers itself to be highly intelligent and philosophical. This was proven not to be the case on the day their prime philosopher who claimed “there is no infinity. Every being must have an end, every plane a limit, every hill a summit”. The sploogle race saw a chance to shut up these infernal pontificators for good and challenged them to reach the peek of mount Hiclomter, claiming that not every hill has a summit. The Moovoks, outraged by this gainsaying of their great lord rose to the challenge. What they did not know is that Hiclomter is in fact limitless, and have now been climbing the mount for 800 years***
The Therin race is highly religious**** and believes that stupidity is a Godly gift given unto all life to stop them from knowing the fundamental truths. The other races ignore the Therin believing them to be idiots
*Kl are around one foot tall, orange and fluffy. They were actually genetically engineered to be stuffed animals, but didn’t come out of the machine dead, as intended. Due to the torturous and slightly mangled animal cruelty legality it was illegal for the company to kill them after they had come out of the machine. And due to an error in scanning they were deemed to actually be alpha predators and dumped en masse onto a thoroughly hostile world
**Glack are up to twelve foot long and resemble wolves. A quirk of evolution means that they can pop their eyes out at will. This is a prime example of stupidity however, because the animal performing this trick then can’t hunt and dies
***See Volume 4.4
****The name of their religion translates as “The small piece of purple bum-fluff.” No-one is sure why.
Volume 4.3 – Intergalactic idiocy
Throughout the universe there is one constant. Through the multitude of cultures there is one element that eternally appears: stupidity.
Every race has had its fair share, some more than. One such is the Kl race which was hunted to death because it managed to convince itself that the best defence was a good offence. This led to a single Kl* attempting to face down a whole pack of up to 25 Glack**. The Kl only lasted three weeks after adopting this new tactic.
Other forms of more advanced idiocy exist throughout the galaxy. The Moovok race for instance considers itself to be highly intelligent and philosophical. This was proven not to be the case on the day their prime philosopher who claimed “there is no infinity. Every being must have an end, every plane a limit, every hill a summit”. The sploogle race saw a chance to shut up these infernal pontificators for good and challenged them to reach the peek of mount Hiclomter, claiming that not every hill has a summit. The Moovoks, outraged by this gainsaying of their great lord rose to the challenge. What they did not know is that Hiclomter is in fact limitless, and have now been climbing the mount for 800 years***
The Therin race is highly religious**** and believes that stupidity is a Godly gift given unto all life to stop them from knowing the fundamental truths. The other races ignore the Therin believing them to be idiots
*Kl are around one foot tall, orange and fluffy. They were actually genetically engineered to be stuffed animals, but didn’t come out of the machine dead, as intended. Due to the torturous and slightly mangled animal cruelty legality it was illegal for the company to kill them after they had come out of the machine. And due to an error in scanning they were deemed to actually be alpha predators and dumped en masse onto a thoroughly hostile world
**Glack are up to twelve foot long and resemble wolves. A quirk of evolution means that they can pop their eyes out at will. This is a prime example of stupidity however, because the animal performing this trick then can’t hunt and dies
***See Volume 4.4
****The name of their religion translates as “The small piece of purple bum-fluff.” No-one is sure why.
No, they continue. I just forget to put them on this forum. But I shall continue to post them untill you're begging me to stop. And as such:
Volume 4.4 – The Science Of Idiocy (involves endless hills and popping eyes)
Some of the more astute amongst you may have read Volume 4.3 and said “What? This makes no sense! Why would evolution have created a predator that can pop out its own eyes? And how is it possible to have an infinite hill for the Moovoks to climb?”
Some of the less astute amongst you are still trying to find “astute” in the dictionary. Some of the totally un-astute people are looking for it under Q; but I digress.
Evolution is a process that takes millions of years, and stupidity is something that predators can not have if they intend to survive. Predators have to outwit their prey, cut off their retreat, out-flank and out-think them in order to eat. A bunny rabbit however needs very little brain power to outwit a blade of grass*, unless it happens to be an exceptionally bright blade of grass. And so through a bizarre mutation some of the Glacks became able to pop their eyes out at will, thus killing themselves. Only the stupid did so and that is the crux of the matter: the intelligent learnt from the acts of the stupid and the stupid were culled. The pack became smarter and more lethal as each stupid member, not learning from the actions of the last stupid member, popped their eyes out to amuse the rest of the pack and died.
How, I hear the astute of you (and some of the less astute who have finally found astute in the dictionary and are as such slightly offended**) ask, do the Moovoks continue to climb a hill and never reach the zenith? ***. Hiclomter, the mount they are climbing, is endless because of a slight flaw in gravity. Gravity usually acts at 90 degree angle, pulling us downwards. Due to a great density shift near the core of this planet, gravity pulls at around a 75 degree angle, meaning the entire surface of the planet is on a slope. And no matter how high you climb the slope you always end up back at the beginning; the Moovoks, being great scholars and philosophers no next to nothing about science which is why they have not yet noticed they are re-tracing their footsteps.
The Prime Philosopher, much to the amusement of the entire Sploogle population**** was heard to have said at one point 400 years into the endless climb “that rock looks slightly familiar”
*There is on the planet Alpha Simerion 3 a species of grass that is quite literally a blade. When an unsuspecting rodent comes to close in order to eat the regular grass surrounding it, it swipes it’s blade across and kills the creature.
**It is worth mentioning, at this point, that the thoroughly un-astute are now looking under P.
***Note for the stupid: It’s under Z
****They were amused to such an extent that over 90 million of the population died from internal haemorrhaging caused by laughter. And, yes, haemorrhaging is under H
Volume 4.4 – The Science Of Idiocy (involves endless hills and popping eyes)
Some of the more astute amongst you may have read Volume 4.3 and said “What? This makes no sense! Why would evolution have created a predator that can pop out its own eyes? And how is it possible to have an infinite hill for the Moovoks to climb?”
Some of the less astute amongst you are still trying to find “astute” in the dictionary. Some of the totally un-astute people are looking for it under Q; but I digress.
Evolution is a process that takes millions of years, and stupidity is something that predators can not have if they intend to survive. Predators have to outwit their prey, cut off their retreat, out-flank and out-think them in order to eat. A bunny rabbit however needs very little brain power to outwit a blade of grass*, unless it happens to be an exceptionally bright blade of grass. And so through a bizarre mutation some of the Glacks became able to pop their eyes out at will, thus killing themselves. Only the stupid did so and that is the crux of the matter: the intelligent learnt from the acts of the stupid and the stupid were culled. The pack became smarter and more lethal as each stupid member, not learning from the actions of the last stupid member, popped their eyes out to amuse the rest of the pack and died.
How, I hear the astute of you (and some of the less astute who have finally found astute in the dictionary and are as such slightly offended**) ask, do the Moovoks continue to climb a hill and never reach the zenith? ***. Hiclomter, the mount they are climbing, is endless because of a slight flaw in gravity. Gravity usually acts at 90 degree angle, pulling us downwards. Due to a great density shift near the core of this planet, gravity pulls at around a 75 degree angle, meaning the entire surface of the planet is on a slope. And no matter how high you climb the slope you always end up back at the beginning; the Moovoks, being great scholars and philosophers no next to nothing about science which is why they have not yet noticed they are re-tracing their footsteps.
The Prime Philosopher, much to the amusement of the entire Sploogle population**** was heard to have said at one point 400 years into the endless climb “that rock looks slightly familiar”
*There is on the planet Alpha Simerion 3 a species of grass that is quite literally a blade. When an unsuspecting rodent comes to close in order to eat the regular grass surrounding it, it swipes it’s blade across and kills the creature.
**It is worth mentioning, at this point, that the thoroughly un-astute are now looking under P.
***Note for the stupid: It’s under Z
****They were amused to such an extent that over 90 million of the population died from internal haemorrhaging caused by laughter. And, yes, haemorrhaging is under H